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whitegirlsaintshit:

how can you suck dick like that? there’s no vacuum. his face is always gonna have a draft. you can smell his breath on every side of his face. this nigga can’t be near water no more, he’d drown trying wash his face. he ain’t never gonna replenish his thirst. smh i wish him the best.

(via pizza)

Source: hugepoppa
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jesusinc:

dennys:

*heavy breathing* we have hte bacon

dennys what the fuck

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

Source: dennys
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okaywork:

why do moms get so pissed about how many empty water bottles you have in your room 

(via hotboyproblems)

Source: okaywork
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guy:

mewmander:

guy:

name a colour without the letter e in it

BLACK BITCHES

Although blsck is the absence of color…

I wanna go home

r u okay

(via guy)

Source: guy
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phatamy:

urietarded:

textbooks attempting to be racially diverse will always be the funniest thing 

chow liung pao and shyniqua went to the supermarket

(via hotboyproblems)

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hemmolifestyle:

relahvant:

codename-lol:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

are you kidding im going to use all of these

STINKY PICKLE

yogurt slinger

(via pizza)

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professorelupin:

fuckyeahprettybooks:

lovejoyjohnlock:

I’m twelve years old again.

Someone help me stop laughing, it hurts.

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(via pizza)

Source: hpinsults